WHY LADIES ARE THE MOST AFFECTED VICTIM OF LOVE MURDERS IN KENYA

Season of spouse murders in Kenya

Currently, all media houses, national and social, are full of “murder news” by a spouse parner.

IVY- Most recent victim of  love murder

I have looked and tried to find out why ladies are the most affected victims in this heinous acts and this is what I found:

Men of all ages representing all professions, represent what ladies need most at that particular point in their lives; men look, live and breaths manifestations of what ladies want at that particular time.

One lady had to say, “Like when we just need a little money the person we have nothing in common with, e.g, goals and values, comes into play when we want to be bailed out of our economic shell. These are people we date when we’re consciously prioritizing other things, or trying to get our needs met indirectly”.

Ladies dates different men at different points in their life and dates simply because

they offer what they need at that time. The high school boyfriend,  the musician who make them laugh, the chef who smells chips and chickens, the guys they meet while studying in various colleges, the lecturers who will give them marks, the financial bank tellers, the small and big politicians who acts as sugar daddies or sponsors.

They see the context on a lot of them: how they date logical men when they are using “logic” as a protective instrument to balance for withdrawing from people. They date “doers” when they need help getting out of their own head; a sensitive adventurer when they want someone to show them “human feelings.”

As soon as their problems have been taken care of, they will never want to date any of these men again.

Men should come to their senses. They are being played. Because such connection are “all make believe”. In such relationship, you’re lying to yourself, and worse: you’re selling yourself short.

Men, don’t lie to yourselves about “a meeting at the right time” or “love at first sight” There is really no such thing as “the right time,” or “love at first sight” and when you meet the right person, that will be perceptible.

Ladies never dropped everything to “make it work” with a man. More fighter than lover, they are the type of persons who deliberately throws a monkey wrench into a perfectly good thing — and this is always an obvious deliberate sabotage. Or, at best, gross negligence.

they let their victim think they are moving across the country with them, and then stop following them as soon as they are done with the benefit they have made from them and they have no more to offer as to continue following them — and only after they have laid the decision out in before them, careful to reassure themselves that they were doing it for themselves and not for the man.

Left with no option, men resort to revenge by killing.

The victims are not willing to accept the relation is over despite being expressly told a number of times by the spouse friends.

They harbour violent thoughts towards the ladies until they can no longer hold the grudge and that is when murder comes in.

The right person and Infidelity

Committed relationship?”

Whether someone leaves their partner for someone else depends on their value system

and, to an extent, their definition of love.

The only time someone else other than your partner would even look like the “right” person is when your current person isn’t, as defined by the above.

So: either they were never “right” or at least one of you didn’t build and foster and commit to the relationship, but either way. There is no “right until proven wrong,” “right until better right comes along,” or “forever until I change my mind.” If they suddenly seem replaceable, it’s because part of your heart always thought so.

This also means you almost certainly chose your partner based on other measures and values.

And what you do with meeting someone new really depends on what those measures and values are — how you view relationships, partners, people, and love. The “right” person is going to be someone who best aligns with you living your values.

• If you’re someone who values tradition and security most, the “right” person is the one who best fosters this in the long run.
• If you’re someone who values status most, you’ll choose whichever person offers more.
• If you value harmony, the “right” choice is the one with fewest hurt feelings and least disruption to the peace in your life.
• If you’re someone who sees life (and other people in it) as fluid, you may not see partners as static, one and done, til-death-do-us-part commitments, but rather companions in life to the extent that it’s mutually enjoyable, and in that case the “right” choice is whichever one that supports your personal journey.
• If you’re someone who simply values connection and sees love not as “romance” but as a daily decision, you’ll choose the person who makes that work feel most like a labor of love.
• And if you’re someone who values your specific partner (and your connection with this specific person) most, you wouldn’t be incentivized to build a competing connection with someone else. Nothing else would stack up — even the temptation of attraction.

But regardless of what choice is made… If you operate from a place of authenticity and honoring your real values, you’ll make the decision easily — and honorably. If you operate from a place of fear, you’ll do it poorly, or in despair.

Circumstance still matters

Mostly, it’s our mindset.

We have to be psychologically and emotionally ready; be well-equipped with good values and that means framing up a partner as a human being, not a physical expression of our principles.

We make the timing forever when we are the sort of people who are open to forever, who ready ourselves by not waiting on the universe to hand us things, but by getting our priorities straight and our heads right, for seeing people in healthy ways and not using people to fill gaps in our hearts.

But after that, yeah, when we’re ready, we’ll find someone that doesn’t even make us wonder whether “now” is right. It just will be.